I feel more free to be myself today that I ever have. Let’s back up a bit though, because that hasn’t always been the case.
I had been feeling stuck for a long time, and I had reached a point where I was really angry and sad about it. From the outside, my life looked very together, but there was a core deep piece missing. I was stuck in a place in life that didn’t let me be my true self. Looking back, I can see that I had been there a long time. The slippery slope into this place had started gradually and unintentionally, but I kept sliding.
How did I end up in this place that wasn’t really me?
I was fortunate to have a major in college, Exercise Science, which truly interested me. I’ve always thought that the human body is so intriguing, and I’ve never tired of learning about health and wellness. After college, I landed a job in a completely different career path – event management. I built a very respectable career in this field for over 10 years. I also really enjoyed it for a long time, but I never lost that interest in the health and wellness. It was always hanging on in the background – hello, I’m over here, your original interests. Come flirt with me; I’m waiting for you. Pay attention to me!
I had also become very busy with my two young children and an entrepreneurial husband, so I kept plodding along building my career. At this point, my event management career had become part of my identity – which later turned out to be a problem. I told myself that it was the responsible thing to do. This was how other people knew me and what was expected from me. Even when I recognized that I had steered away from my true self, I still kept plodding along the same path.
This is where we come back to where this started - feeling stuck. For me, the area I felt most stuck was career and this had slowly seeped into other areas of my life. After all, it’s all connected – just like the human body!
I had been exploring a career transition for several years, which was really a return to my interests from 20 years prior. However, I wasn’t doing anything about it. I felt stuck in my career and an identity that wasn’t really me. I felt angry, sad, and lost. I knew I couldn’t stay in that place anymore, yet I was terrified to make a leap. In hindsight, I was afraid to leap because I knew there would be no going back.
So what made me finally leap? For me, I was pushed to the edge and couldn’t stand where I was in the place of feeling stuck. I missed my true self and how I felt when I was that person.
There wasn’t one pivotal moment that made me decide to leap. For me that decision became clearer when I slowed down enough to think about what I wanted my life to look like in 20 plus years. I knew that I had to make different decisions in the present for those dreams to even be a possibility.
I had a gut feeling that there would be clarity on the other side of the leap, and I was going to follow where that clarity leads me – that’s scary! I have embraced my true self and am building my life from there.